I am desperate and need some advice what to do and say to my wife. Firstly my Japanese wife wanted a divorce last Wednesday but I have convinced her to give our marriage another chance.
This is a long story. I am Turkish and have lived in England for 22 years. I have 4 daughters 2 from my first wife and 2 from my Japanese wife who I have been married to for 13 years. She was not happy in England so this year we decided to move to Tokyo. I left 2 of my daughters in England and came to Tokyo last week. My wife on the other hand came here in February so our daughter Ema can start school.
Her family was going to let us stay in one of their houses and we aere going to move in to the house in june 2010. But as soon as she arrived in Tokyo she called me and said that her family cant get the tennants out so we need to do some thng els. I got angry and asked her to come back to UK. This was one of the main reasons why I thought going to Japan would not be so difficult since we had a place to live rent free for 6 to 12 motnhs which would mean we only needed living money untill we got jobs. But not having a place to live has changed all that.
We started argueing and 2 days later she said she does not love me any more and wants a divirce. I convinced her otherwise. But we have argued alot untill I arrived here on 28th June. She on the first meeting said that she does not love me and wants a divorce. I said to her that was not wise since we never ever talked about a divorce before. I knew she was not very happy but being Japanese she does not express her feelings very well just goes quiet.
I said to her I will give you a divorce if we try one more time and live together if you are still not happy I will give you a divorce and leave. She did not give me an answer then I know for fact that her mum wants us to seperate and she always gets advice from her. She is at present living with her untill we get our own place which should be soon I hope.
Next day she came and said that she would accept to give our marriage one more go. Her parents would be a garantor for the house we rent I will give her mum 24 months rent up front so she does not have to worry about money but my wife also wants a piece of paper written by me saying I will divorce her if she wants divorce after we try. She also does not want me to touch her phisically at all even holding hands and kissing. She says I need to give her time and if and when her love comes back she will let me touch her again. She has not given me time scales for it though.
I just dont know what to do. I dont mind about money but if I sign this paper saying I will divorce her what would stop her just telling me to pack my case any time she wants.
FRIJ recommends you also
visit crn japan,
who are fighting international abduction to Japan and working to assure children
in Japan of meaningful contact with both parents regardless of marital status