my wife left with kids and wnat to divorce

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Dear sir ,

I have been lost looking for advice how to find my kids and family
several months ago i back from B/tripe after 20 days ouside japan
I find a paper from my wife that chi wanna divorce with meet
chi took all 3 kids with here from
that day I don't have any information about my family I went to the police many time after one months they told me that my wife is under the court protection and is should wait .
then last month I have got a letter from the family court asking me to come over I went there . at meeting they told me that my wife want to divorce me because
I did not give here some much money and iam very strict at home and chi can not live with me.
well her condition is divorce with monthly payment and 50% of my saving .

the next court meeting is for sptember

Idid not see my kids for several months and don't have any news I just get an information from the court they have changed the school home
pls as soon as you read this email pls replay to me
what should i do ????????
do i need lawer ???
how can i claim to see my kids ???
I dont want to divroce what should i do
I have no hanko
automatic tranfer from my A/C to her A/C 80% of salary should i stop it and how ???
how can i bring back my kids 11 and 10 years
what is my right as father under japanese law

I need your advise and help

Best regards
Posted By:
Steven R. Leduc (7 posts)
7/27/2006 4:52:31 AM
re: my wife left with kids and ...   profile
Dear Unfortunate Sir,

If you'd like to know what your rights our I recommend that you order a copy of the following book "WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MARRY A JAPANESE HAVE CHILDREN AND IT DOESN'T WORK OUT" at this webpage. It's a true story by the way.


and I strongly recommend that you take a look at the following website. A vast amount of information...compliments of Mr. Mark Smith.


The FIRST THING that you have to do is to not allow your wife to have access to your money. Since she has decided to leave you, she has also decided to leave your money. Until your court case is settled, there is simply no more money. They go together like or not. If the court should say something like "A SIGN OF GOOD FAITH" tell them that you'll act on the basis of "A SIGN OF GOOD FAITH" after a contract has been concluded/enacted. And if you are not allowed to see your children and she has gone into hiding, DEFINITELY do not allow her to get a hold of your money. REMEMBER she's the one who wants to DIVORCE YOU!
Also, never allow her to have 50% of your savings. She's decided to leave you and your most important concern is access to having contact with your children. If I'm correct(remember if) the average amount of child support per child per month is 20,000. If you make a huge salary it may be more. Also, I truly hope that any accusations she makes against you, that you can prove that they're lies. That part is very important.

You'll be able to get a VERY CLEAR PICTURE OF WHAT YOUR RIGHTS ARE in regards to divorce with children in Japan. Also, if you go to a family court, you cannot trust the mediators. They may say something in your language and something completely different in Japanese(especially when they want you to sign a contract should you be able to make one). Do not sign anything ever(even if they should call the police to try and force you to sign something). NEVER SIGN ANYTHING YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND AND DON'T AGREE TO!!! Also, the judge always seems to be too busy to attend the hearings. Make sure the judge personally attends all hearings should a contract be concluded. Thus if any lies should happen from within the court, you can directly accuse the judge, not just the mediators. That's why the judge usually is absolved from being held accountable because to put it simply "HE OR SHE WASN'T PRESENT DURING THE HEARINGS". That he or she was only present during the enactment/conclusion of your contract. But remember that the mediators will state that "WE ARE IMPARTIAL TO EITHER SIDE AND THAT BECAUSE THE JUDGE IS SO BUSY, THAT WE WILL BE THE EYES AND EARS FOR THE JUDGE AND REPORT EVERYTHING BACK TO THE JUDGE". My adivice, don't trust the mediators(in most cases from what I've heard including my case, they aren't even professionals but rather amatuers) If you are able to make a contract, make it clear in the contract "IN WRITING" that if your wife were to not allow you to see your children, that you are absolved from paying child support. If you do decide to pay child support, remember one month at a time(NOT LUMP SOME or ONE TIME PAYMENT because you may never have the opportunity to see your children again). That in the event that she dies and your children have not reach the age of 20 years(adulthood in Japan), that YOU get full custody of YOUR CHILDREN. That she continue to sponsor you for a visa so that you can live in Japan to pay the child support. Also, if a contract is made have the following included. "That child support payments will only be made on the condition that I am living in Japan". You need a visa(like or not) to live in Japan!!! And regarding your problem, make a diary of everything that's happened in GREAT DETAIL so that you can pass your story on by helping others who suffer from the same situation as yourself. If you have ample information, maybe you can even write a book on the matter like I did.

Best case scenario that I hope for you is that everything will work out fine and that your wife will be internationalized enough to respect you as your children's loving father and always allow you to have continued contact with your children. Unfortunately, most of us foreigners are in the worst case scenario category.

One point of advice: No matter what happens, no matter how much it hurts you inside, try not to get too emotional. I was given this great advice from four close friends quite a few years back. Make sure you have some close friends that you can talk to with about your problem so that you can let it out of your system. By doing so you'll be able to concentrate on your dilemma much more clearly. If you should be able to locate your children, I advise against taking them out of the country because they can then accuse you of "CHILD TRAFFICKING" and have you detained for an indefinite reasonable amout of time. You'll learn about this in the above mentioned website I've referred you to look at.

Hope this helps.

Steven R. Leduc

FRIJ recommends you also visit crn japan, who are fighting international abduction to Japan and working to assure children in Japan of meaningful contact with both parents regardless of marital status