Need sugestions

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Well I have lived in Japan for about 13 years, I am a successful buisness owner. I have been seperated from my wife for about a year now. We have a 6 year old son. He has lived with me for the past year. She sometimes visits him, but now not so often. She obviously has a drinking problem, that she tries to hide by lying to her family constantly. I would have documentation of this, but the hospital she went to for alcohol poisoning was nice to her and did not put it down as her having a problem, just a "stress" issue. She is refusing to sign over the kid to my care, even with the agreement that she can see him when ever she wants., which is almost never. So should I A. take her to court and roll the dice. B. live the rest of my life not being able to get married again, because she is a nut ball.
Has anyone here taken a japanese girl to court, that has not taken care of her kid in a year.
personally i could not see any court giving her custody of a fish much less a kid.
what you all think?
Posted By:
crnjapan (26 posts)
8/5/2007 7:21:27 AM
re: Need sugestions   profile
You have a problem here. Read the following story, which sounds similar to yours in some ways: The father was asking for custody..

I am told the mother had an even worse drinking problem than this article makes clear. Once the court battle started, the mother took renewed interest in their child. The father proved with evidence that she lied profusely on the stand. She hid her assets and not only got custody but got the house. I may be able to put you in contact with this parent if you would like.

Six years old seems to be about the time that the Japanese parents' families also start to take an interest. You may want to read this page too and see if she fits any of the profiles:

So I think you have a problem here. If you really want to maintain custody, you need to consider similar preventative measures as Japanese use and appear perfectly legal. That means hiding your child completely from the other parent and giving supervised access only after the divorce is completed and you have custody. But even then, the court may not grant you custody. I have never heard of a foreign parent getting custody when disputed. In fact, Japanese courts have admitted, in private of course, that they would never give custody to a non-Japanese parent. So you could end up in violation of a court order that the courts cannot enforce. But as a foreigner, you may not have the same resources/abilities to hold out that a Japanese can. But if you did get custody, you would still need to protect against her re-abducting after that, because the courts would then just grant her custody.

Drop me a note at if you have further questions. (The email will bounce, but read the reply and use the email address it contains to resend your email.)

FRIJ recommends you also visit crn japan, who are fighting international abduction to Japan and working to assure children in Japan of meaningful contact with both parents regardless of marital status